He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
