We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
