how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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