I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
