KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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