remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I would fuck him just for his dog
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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