Jerry, you need to find god
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
