I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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