They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Boobs speak an international language.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
