Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
