I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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