She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I am naked and annoyed.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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