Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
