He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
