I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
