Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
