Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize