these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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