Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
