Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
