too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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