I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
