i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
