we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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