WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
