it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
