Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
