Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
