I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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