tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
