**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We're too hungover to prance.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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