Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Panties = found
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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