420 ftw
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
