You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
