Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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