'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
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