my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
