i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'm having to shit out rocks
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