Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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