I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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