I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize