his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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