Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
