Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
