Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
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