Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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