I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
