I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
