He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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