I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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