I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
