i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
