I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
