he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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