I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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