Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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