so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
you never un-have a 4some
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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