You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
