Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
