I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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