Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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