so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
