i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
