lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
